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tygerbunny
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Country: United States
State: New Jersey
Gender: Female
Interests: Reading, writing stories and poetry, singing, sketching (mostly people), designing clothes, and playing volleyball with friends
Expertise: Financial systems analysis and troubleshooting. I also write the manuals and project manage onsite training for our various offices.
Occupation: Accounting/Finance
Industry: Banking/Finance
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/17/2001
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| Tygerbunny will blog. I know...it's been a while.
However, I find myself in such a state that I have to write about it.
My mother was forced to marry someone she didn't love at the age of 18. Her experience was so traumatic that when she had me, she tried to protect me, and overly so. I rebelled and as for my consequence, I got pregnant at a very young age. The look of disappointment in mother's eyes when I told her I was pregnant still haunts me. There was something else. She looked defeated, as If she failed, as a mother.
Now I find myself in the same situation. Trying to protect someone, and it doesn't help that I'm miles away. Unlike my mother, I tried to be an easy going parent, gave my daughter all the freedom that she needed and tried an open door policy. I tried to be there as much as I could, not the condescending parent, but more of a friend she could confide in. I also tried to give her everything I could afford and even taken her to places some people only dream of. I wanted her to experience life and celebrate it. I thought it was working, but now I'm faced with a dilemma, that I don't know how to deal with it. I don't want my daughter to suffer the same fate as me and I can just imagine my mother looking at me, once again, with disappointment in her eyes, "How could you let it happen?"
I tried my best to make her happy, but how do you make someone see that a glass is half full, and not half empty?
How could you convince someone that she has everything she needs, when all she could dwell upon is what's missing? I'm afraid that she's walking on a path of self destruction trying to fill a void that she can't seem to comprehend.
I just hope that somewhere inside her head a switch will turn on. That somehow everything would become clear and that she'd realize that she has so much to be thankful for.
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| Please remove me from your subscription. This site is dead. | | |
| ...And now for my next trick...I'm going to make tygerbunny disappear...
 Tygerbunny first surfaced on ICQ way back in 1996. Before that, I was known as Rhea. As I mentioned before, "tyger" was half the name of someone I used to care about deeply, and "bunny" was his nickname for me. Although we had parted ways years ago, the identity had stuck. I use it as my ID on Yahoo and AIM. Then on March 2001, immediately after "Bianca" sent me an e-mail invitation , I created this Xanga site.
If you are one of my oldest readers, you would probably remember that I started blogging as an outlet for my grief. My mother passed away on January 6, 2001, which resurrected my insomnia and left me emotionally crippled. Writing about her somehow made me come to terms with her death.
However, it's time to put tygerbunny to rest. It's been a great 8 net years (3 years on Xanga). I will come up with something else that will be completely me...not a hybrid of someone's identity. I will keep this site, but will blog here no longer.
Thank you for your readership, your friendship and for caring. No goodbyes, because I'll be seeing you around...
***Image by absy wabsy | | |
| First, I'd like to thank those who continue to visit and comment, even though my blogs are few and far between. You guys are the best.
I'm having major writer's block. I seem to be having a problem putting my thoughts and feelings down. Perhaps it's the fact that everytime I post something personal, especially if it's bad, my phone rings. My family and friends read my site so I can't really rant. Anyway, I have nothing to rant about right now. Everything is cool. My life has changed these past few weeks, but I've adjusted. I even got used to entertaining myself. No more drama or hype, life's too short for that. If there were things that bother me, I would just write them on a piece of paper, and then throw it away. Last month, I did a lot of that, and it helped me released some pent up anger. I'm not the type to call every friend I have everytime I'm upset. I tend to internalize things, but when things get really bad, I have a friend or two that I talk to. I still continue to listen to people's problems though...that I don't avoid. When a friend is in trouble or distraught, I put my issues aside and help out, even if it's just through listening.
My love life is almost non-existent..haha...so there's nothing to complain about...sorry folks. However, my classes start this week. I have Folk Guitar Workshop tonight (note to self...don't forget to bring the guitar and a change of clothes) and then T'ai Chi on Wednesday. I tried to get into Beginning Sewing, but it's already full. Relina and I even drove to Chatham yesterday to find the school I'll be going to. It's pretty close to work.
Anyway, it's time to get ready for work. Take care. | | |
| Rainbow
Today, on the way home from dinner, we saw a rainbow. It's the first time I've seen one since I moved here 6 years ago. Too bad I didn't have a camera with me. It was beautiful! It must be a sign that brighter days are ahead  .
Take care.
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